Dear Erin,

As a young parent, it seems that you are the center of the universe for those little people in your care. You are the light that they revolve around, your own little solar system. You can hardly move without them at your side - in the bathroom, in bed, on the telephone.

As they grow and move away from you, at some point you realize that each one of them is actually their own light, shining forth into the world. The loss of your importance in their lives is bittersweet, you know that they must move out into the universe and you must stay behind. And slowly the awareness dawns on you that your light travels with them, shining on into the future generation upon generation.

I have seen your brilliant light in the eyes and words of those who you touched while you were here with us. I see it in Peyton's face as she sits surrounded by paper and markers and all manner of crafty stuff, making yet one more amazing piece of art. Nick's smart-assed comebacks have your signature all over them, as does his soft-spoken kindness and sensitivity. I have witnessed the same in your sisters and brother, who all illuminate the world around them.

I am so very proud to have been a conduit for the radiance that stretches back beyond memory and forward through all of my children and into eternity.

Shine on Sweetie Bean.

Love, Mom

Dear Erin,

Thanksgiving was hard. I really tried to focus on being thankful. Honestly, I did. We went to Bailey and Missy's for dinner. It was nice to do something different. If we had dinner here like we always do your empty chair would have been oh so obvious. Well, when we sat down to dinner and took turns saying what we were thankful for it all fell apart. Most of us said that we were thankful for the food and that we were together at Missy and Bailey's house. The food was very good, all of our favorites and a few new dishes. All I could think was, "we are not all here." And because I did not cook I didn't have all of the leftovers to make turkey pie. I really didn't think I could make it anyway without you here to fight with Tim over whether we had turkey pie or soup first. Yesterday I was at Kroger and I bought an eighteen pound turkey. Which I am going to cook tomorrow. Then I am going to make turkey pie. I don't have any idea who I am going to feed all of this turkey to, and I hope that the pie is not too salty with the tears I expect to shed while rolling out the crust. I promise to put the crust on the bottom and the top, just the way you like it. I will eat an extra large piece for you. And Tim will get his soup eventually.

Love, Mom